If you think about those nights when you feel like your absolute most beautiful, most powerful self, what do you envision? Perhaps you arent concerned about the dimples on your butt, or how much you want to tone your arms? Sadly, this is not always the case for many plus-size people.
Stewart explains that riding your partner like a real cowgirl (or cowperson) can be powerful and make you feel amazing. Being on top means being in charge of our pleasure and how we move our bodies, so being on top helps us to see where we'll find our pleasure.
When It Comes To Your Plus-Size Size, Here's How It's Different
Stewart states that while everyone can achieve the same goal, people with plus-sized bodies have different physical demands and abilities to ride; this is not an obstacle to overcome. It's not impossible, for those of us who have knee problems or other physical difficulties, to get on top of the podium.
When you're Plus-Size, here's how to gain trust in yourself.
It's been a breeze to open a magazine and read it for a while and then repeat these affirmations until you're satiated with it! While it may work for some, it's unlikely that everyone, especially those with larger bodies, who have historically been the target of many joking in the media and entertainment, would ever benefit from that practice.
Stewart explains that experience is critical in ensuring that plus-size individuals receive the satisfaction they deserve when it comes to achieving excellence. This experience can be obtained on your own, with your partner, or by seeking resources to transform your perspective on sexual confidence (Stewart recommends The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay, co-authored with sexologist Dr. Jess OReilly).
Is There Any Way To Make Getting On The Top Even Better When Youre Plus-Size
Experts advise that there are a number of strategies available to help you get back on track. Make sure that everyone involved feels comfortable and content with your accomplishments, as well as making sure that you feel good and sexy about yourself. Despite this, you want to have a supportive partner who can help you deal with the issues that arise.
Chase recommends putting this under the receiver's hips to help him or her (especially for reverse cowpersons). Because these wedges are made from industrial foam, they do not contract with pressure as regular pillows do, and they are a great resource for practical strategies.
Chase claims that teamwork with your partner can alleviate physical difficulties you may encounter. People with weak knees, legs, or lower backs might find it difficult to support themselves comfortably through their sustained movement. Or folks might find lowering their chest on their partner's thighs might be useful.
How to Talk With Your Partner About Your Worries
Chase notes that practicing solo or with your partner, or exploring different perspectives, are great ways to help you feel at ease with your bigger body. [And] being open and honest with your partner will help you and your partner feel at ease. Through sex, communication always includes consent.
According to Stewart, it's a good idea not to do it between the sheets. Make sure that you are in a relaxed and comfortable environment and address your worries and discomfort there. Make sure that you have some positive reinforcement for your lover(s) and talk about what you like about them.
Marla Renee Stewart, sexologist, sex educator, and founder of Velvet Lips Sex Ed
Elle Chase, CSE Intimacy Coach and sex educator