Although it may be normal, arguing with your partner every day in a relationship or arguing over certain topics such as your core values should not be ignored. In fact, experts warn there are several common relationship conflicts that suggest you should probably break up with your partner.
Cherrelle N. Juice Shorter, LCSW-S, explains that Dr. John Gottman's research found that 69% of conflict in relationships is never-ending, meaning that difficulties are inherent in fundamental differences between the individuals involved. Many people find comfort in this as they realize that conflict is not unique to their relationships.
While dating is natural, how you fight, how often you fight, and what you fight about can make a huge difference between a lasting relationship and one that will eventually fail. According to Shorter, many couples struggle with figuring out how to deal with conflict in a productive way, which leads to frequent tiffs over the same issues.
If you are arguing a lot with your partner about important things like fidelity, money, marriage, life goals, jealousy, and the like, this might be the time to examine whether or not the relationship is truly working. According to experts, if a fight occurs over any of these 16 reasons, you may want to consider splitting up.
When One Partner Is Regularly Dishonest
Couples should always practice honesty, even if there are small errors. Such as the location where you spent the night on the weekends, it's possible to be a sign of a breakup.
When You and Your Partner Want Different Things From The Relationship
3.When You Feel As If Your Values Are Being Compromised
4.If One Of You Has An Issue With Jealousy Or Control
When Your Future Goals Aren't Aligned at All, Here Are 5
When two people have differing desires and aspirations, it's difficult for a relationship to get over it, especially if it starts causing huge arguments relevant to the topic. For instance, money tends to be a source of problems for many couples. If one partner wants to save for a future with children and a nice house, but the other wants to spend it on traveling or material items, it's going to ruin the relationship.
6.When One Of You Isn't Committed With Your Time
7.If You Say Things That Are Meant Or Extremely Hurtful
When Your Partner Is Blamed For Everything, Here's How To Do It.
9.When One Of You Cant Keep Your Eyes From Wandering
10.When One Or Both Of You Isnt Happy
When Your Lifestyles Are Incompatible, Here Are 11.
If your partner insists on going to bed by a reasonable time every weeknight, and they reply by arguing, you might want to reconsider. However, Concepcion cautions that this may be indicative of something more. If one person wants to party until two in the morning on a Wednesday night while the other person is in bed at 10, they are certainly in different phases of their lives. It may not be easy to break up if neither partner is willing to negotiate.
When Youre Disputed With Your Partner Over A Ton Of Small Things, Here Are 12
Disagreements are inevitable in relationships. However, according to Lesli Doares, a marriage coach and author, fighting is always a choice. No two people will ever agree on everything, no matter how much they love each other, she says. The way they deal with them will determine the relationship's health and success.
If you have any serious issues with your partner, it is important to be upfront with them. This is not a way to make every small disagreement a big one. According to Doares, anger is always about you. You choose it. You control it. If you are always irritated with your partner because you have resentment over a big issue that has yet to be resolved, either pursue it or terminate the relationship.
13.When You Simply Communicate Differently
Although its unlikely that every couple will have the exact same argument style, many individuals can learn to understand the other way of communicating and be fine. However, in some situations, your communication style is so different that you will not be able to deal with problems in the best possible way.
14.When You Dont Feel Like You Anymore
15.When One Partner Keeps Threatening To Put The Relationship To The End
If you are regularly slapping, cursing, low blows, or attacking each other's character, you may be on the verge of breaking up. Although some people say things they don't want in the heat of moment, threatening to end a relationship may be unkind and manipulative.
According to India Simms, a licensed marriage and family therapist, you may disagree without causing one another to break up. If you're in a relationship and your arguments tend to fall below the belt, this could be a sign to break up.
When It's The Same Fight Over & Over
If you've ever thought to yourself, My partner and I squabble over the same old issues, and nothing has ever changed, it may be that things are coming to an end. According to Daniels, the key ingredient in any relationship is the ability and the willingness to deal with issues.... this is a relationship that will not stand the test of time and one you should quit.
Sara Russell, a relationship coach, is your resource.
Cheryl Muir, a dating and relationship coach, has been working since 2010.
Samantha Daniels, dating expert and founder of Samanthas Table Matchmaking.
Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and relationship expert, is on the lookout.
Lisa Concepcion, a relationship coach and the founder of LoveQuest Coaching, is a natural fit.
Cherrelle N. Juice Shorter, LCSW-S, is a psychotherapist.
David Simonsen, Ph.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Jana Edwards is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in assisting couples.
Chloe Greenbaum, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist.
Edie Weinstein, a licensed social worker, is a certified social worker.
Christie Tcharkhoutian, an Ed.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Lesli Doares, a marriage coach and author, has been selected by the Council of Churches for her work on marriage.
Laura F. Dabney, MD, is a Virginia-based psychiatrist and relationship therapist.
Joy Harden Bradford, a psychologist and breakup coach, is
India Simms, a licensed marriage and family therapist, is the owner of The Haven Center for Therapy & Wellness, LLC.
This article was originally published on May 18, 2016.