Love Island dating shows may be set in a more ordinary reality, but the behavior of its Islanders can illuminate toxic dating trends. (Im looking at you, Dami and Andrew). But there is another term outside the Love Island villa that perfectly encapsulates the culture of having a backup relationship.
Quinn uses the love islands Casa Amor as an example, in which islanders choose to recouple with a new affair then return to the main villa and continuing to pursue their previous relationship, all the while stringing their back-up.
Quinn claims that it can be quite frustrating if people are made to feel like they are the only one, even when they aren't. As was the case for Summer and Coco, once Dami and Andrew decided to recouple with Indiyah and Tasha, Quinn explained that cookie jarring occurs when some individuals discover an unacceptable level of vulnerability or are suspicious that their new partner has other options.
According to psychotherapist Darcie Czajkowski, this vulnerability may be the result of previous experiences that influence a person's belief about himself, such as a belief that Im not good enough or Im not worthy, and they can create anxieties about what a person brings to a relationship.
Quinn notes that if your partner is always aloof with their plans, takes trips without you, or keeps you hidden from their friends and family, chances are you're the last resort option. Their original date did not work out, according to Quinn.
Psychotherapist Rachel Davidson advises you to get clear about what you want from the relationship before you meet with the person, so that you can make a decision about whether or not to continue the relationship depending on how they respond to the situation in the future.