Q: As time advanced, my partner and I began collaborating on a solo polyamory basis. I thought it would be beneficial for myself anyway since I was not aware of her. At the time, I began texting with her, but I began texting her, but I became distressed by her. Later, they became separated and ended their relationship. Eventually, he decided to follow his monogamous relationship with me.
He can''t talk much at home as she knocks on the door to tell him that she doesn''t want to see him again. He then calls me while going home and then hangs up before arriving at the house. I can''t stop worrying that he would be keeping in touch with her and get rid of it without giving himself time to heal. I have always been concerned about my relationships when my previous partners were all practicing monogamy.
A: I think you already know the answer to this, and that the answer is empty. I say this because of one particular clause you wrote: My mental health is being hurt because of the triggers and concerns. There is no relationship on Earth that is worthwhile sustaining damage to your mental health.
There are now, of course, events that occur in a relationship that may alter our mental health. There are other big-picture events such as one of you losing a job or you losing fertility. There are also, for example, events like one of you having a crush on a co-worker or your partner buying a big-ticket item without you both agreeing on it or generally being a butthead one day, which may drastically affect their health. However, the reality is that if your partner is going
Personally, I think youre concerned with good reason! This appears to be an unsettling beginning to a loving, trusting relationship. To be honest, the beginning of a relationship should be fairly straightforward. Before you get to the really messy stuff, like your basement flooding, your dog dying, and your mother-in-law meddling in your sex life. This is the time when love should be circulating like honey. Let me walk you through all the reasons you should be concerned.
In its many and varied forms, non-monogamy isnt the one acceptable way to have a relationship! Although I do think that any of the issues related to polyamory itself is and is aware that your partner was completely responsible for his ex-primary partners behavior. However, I do consider how your partner was emotionally abused by his principal partner and that he kept her (and you) as well. First, it seems like that your partner was not a forceful deal-breaker for him, since you reported
If you had to contact him privately before you left your house, then you may be comfortable with him. It''s also possible that he would not be able to stay close to her as long as he got to know her. So, in this letter, you should, not be afraid to speak with him.
I hope that you two talked extensively and vulnerably about why youre making the transition to monogamy from polyamory. Its not like I think that everyone who is in a poly relationship will be until the end of time. But it''s not like he went from a poly relationship with someone else to a monogamous one. That''s a huge difference! You both must be careful about what you need to know about those things and sticking to them
He is a messy, narcissistic person who is behaving like he has no control over his life and actions. Hes not advocating for boundaries that would help him or your current relationship, however, he is not advocating for anything to do with it. I''m not sure what to say about people who cannonball from one relationship right into another. It almost always implies sin.
I believe that all of the information you include in your letter is him showing you exactly who he is, and I think you should trust him. You should take him at his words and actions and trust that he will continue to talk to and care about those who hurt you. Which, by the way, is terrible. You will never ever have a reason to break up with a person, but you have plenty.