The Twitterverse has been sharing Big Feelings about take-it-or-leave-it offers in relationships since ICYMI, the reality show features six couples in which one partner wants to get married for three weeks, then with their own partner for three weeks. Each person will then test out their original relationship once it''s been discovered.
While youre unlikely to live out such a wacky scenario IRL, many people have set their partners an ultimatum and had it worked out in their favor. Below, three women share the odds that made them believe enough is enough, and a relationship expert discusses when ultimatums are effective.
The Relationship Ultimatums
What Happened After The Ultimatums Were Given
While Chung advises that ultimatums should be avoided as they can cause rejection, they may come up. Ultimatums are beneficial because they are decisive and forceful in a decision on a wide range of issues. For example, if a couple has been in a long-standing dispute about whether or not to get married, an ultimatum will be a means to alleviate that conflict once and for all.
Erin''s son rang true. The day before I left for the holidays, [Roberto] proposed and we were married in August 2014. She recalls. Both have been married for two years, while TikToks talks.
Graces'' journey has a happy conclusion. [Nick] agreed to the ultimatum immediately, was deeply sorry about the whole thing, and explained that it was a mistake. He was already in the process of leaving his job, so wouldnt be seeing the co-worker he was flirting with anymore.Neither of us has ever had any connection with her since or any similar experience with other people, and we are still engaged, according to Grace.
After two weeks of unemployment, Kaiden recovered and recovered, and he learned to live in a healthy environment that has been a major part of his mental health and friendship with Maryan. Both have a great deal of value for ourselves, as we haven''t given every last drop of ourselves to our jobs before we leave.
How Do They Feel About Ultimatums Now?
None of the interviewers have expressed any regrets for making an ultimatum they felt would be taken back to some extent. Erin asks whether she would do it again if she did not know it, but says, she was confident that the ultimatum would end in a proposal. She was also willing to leave the relationship if she didn''t get it.
Grace felt selfless when she discovered out about Nicks flirting, and she believes setting an ultimatum was the best solution for her at the time. She hopes to do it again, but she does not believe that I have an ultimatum. I would probably seriously question my trust for my partner in a similar situation before setting an ultimatum, she writes.
Maryan may disagree with the notion of ultimatums, but she felt that her choices with Kaiden were different. Usually, if Im not happy in a relationship, Ill just leave, she said. This is the most Ive ever seen someone, and I wanted to give it another shot, but that is, without the source of our problems.
She''s absolutely grateful she made the decision: If I was in a similar situation, I''d 100% do it again, she says. Life is too short for toxic relationships, and if someone you love needs a little push (of course with support), then I''m willing to risk it!
This name has been changed in order to protect the privacy of the public.
Expert:
Betsy Chung, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert at the XOXO dating app, has died.
