Amy's stepdaughter, "Serena," and her husband, "Ned," have two children, aged 2 and 4, who both have laborious.
In the midst of the pandemic, I offered my daughter to prepare a dinner four days a week for her.
Serena appreciates my assistance and enjoys almost always enjoying what I prepare soup, chili, meatloaf, spaghetti sauce, stews, chicken enchiladas, and others. All dishes that are easy to transport.
Ned does not like onions, so I put them in nearly every entree I make!
Serena seemed to be sensitive to this aversion and never used onions in her cooking. Of course, I may leave out the onions in the dishes I give her family, but Serena wouldn't find the dishes as elegant.
They might also develop the same aversion, thus leaving onions alone would only perpetuate the problem.
Deserving of onions gives this family the possibility to experiment new skills.
Do you have any doubts about yourself?
Stepmom Cook of the Bay Area
Dear Cook, my first reaction is that if this is your "helping out," then I wonder what kind of service you might offer if you were deliberately trying to disrespect someone.
I believe it's unkind to deliberately provide a food to someone that you know they have an adverse reaction to (or simply don't eat) with no choice to remove it.
Onions are helpful in helping people feel comfortable eating. Oftentimes, they give a strong flavor to foods, but if you simply hate the taste of onions, it's not like you can just eat it around them.
It's best to exclude them from your meat-based foods or include two versions of these dishes. Every time your son-in-law saw this discernment, he would think: "She was remembered me!"
Is this "catering" to someone? Yes, if your stepdaughter had a similar aversion, would you do so?
You don't want someone's aversion to control your cooking, but you should understand it, as long as you recognized this man's challenge and did everything you could to put into place. You'd be demonstrating to this family that you are performing an act of service as a means to express your love and respect for each of them, not just for the onion-eaters.
You should not be responsible for (or worry) the palates of these young children. It's their parents' job.
Dear Amy, I've had a girlfriend of 13 years, but I'm questioning if I should break up with her.
We have been together for around two years now (the rest of the time we lived on different continents).
We cannot get married or disclose our relationship to our friends and relatives due to some cultural differences.
Because I have recently met someone from my own culture (she likes me, and we might be able to marry and live happily).
One concern is that this person is more than 11 years younger than me.
I'm sorry about my feelings for this new girl (I haven't cheated on my girlfriend, but I have hidden my relationship with this new person).
I keep thinking about my girlfriend. I think that I should break up to make it simpler for my girlfriend to find someone else, but I think that I am making issues for no reason.
I'd appreciate your advice.
Torn: I'm contemplating the realities of that scenario that would basically require you to live a completely secret life. I suppose that maintaining this secret requires you and your girlfriend to consistently lie to your family, friends, and colleagues.
I believe that you love each other is very kind, but because of your current regrets, you should have a honest and open conversation about your situation, and whether or not this is the best way for you to live.
I cannot tell you to break up. It is absolutely necessary for you to take into account all of the consequences of staying together, especially if you want to have children.
Dear Amy, regarding your recent discussion about Barbies, I have grown up in the profession. I would invent stories, which I did not often involve. When my own daughter was young, I hesitated. But she wanted one.
Her first Barbie was a Dr. Barbie.
Guess who will start medical school in August 2022?
Applaud your little one.
Dear Proud: I'm so glad you liked it!
Amy Dickinson may contact him at any time or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.