Amy: My daughter's boyfriend is a self-taught personal trainer (without professional training). He had previously been a plane mechanic.
He acts like a medical doctor, constantly offering advice that he's not happy with.
My daughter (privately) has been asked to leave. He follows all of the weird and wacky diets he sees on YouTube. At one point, he was actually eating sticks of butter with his meals. (Yes, I'm just biting into and eating sticks of butter.)
He once taught me for more than 15 minutes about how to add salt to my ice water. Um no, I should not. Everything he says is excessive. There is no moderation. It's 100 percent or nothing.
When I heard him explain to my husband how he'd "fix" him with a quasi-medical medicine, the other day this was a heated yelling game.
I completely lost it. I was so depressed that I was behaved horribly.
I yelled at him and told him that we do not need his "medical advice." I even said that his own parents do not listen to him, so why should we?
I was totally irritated when I was talking to him the same way I did.
The next morning, my daughter and her boyfriend issued apologise.
What can I do this time?
While he goes on and on, I will not sit there with a smile on my face. That's why he's so good.
You don't know what the outcome of your outburst will be. It might have put him into compliance. It has likely influenced your daughter's desire to spend time with you together.
In addition to the outburst itself, you really shouldn't have gotten 'personal' with him, saying to him how his parents relate to his advice.
This guy has an open mind and an obsessive personality, and he is directing you into doing things (and possibly others).
I wonder how your daughter relates to his behavior and how she copes with it?
Plus you assault him (however justified) the more your child may feel forced closer to him.
If he falls into this sort of monologue, you may resign yourself from the room and everybody will understand and be relieved.
Amy, my husband and I have invited two ladies to come together to share a condo we rent in Mexico for the past four years.
One woman, who I thought she was a close friend, brought another along, and I became real admirable. They were amazing.
As we charge them a minimal rent, they get a real deal when they arrive.
It started out as seven days, then they asked for two weeks, but I told them that 10 days was really my limit.
One year, they invited a third lady along without even consulting me. I told them I wasn't open to that.
The same issue I'm having is that they are never in touch during the year. I'm not invited anywhere with them. Both women are divorced, and I am not, and maybe that's how it works.
I wonder if I am just being able to stay in the winter as a fun holiday.
I recently saw on Facebook that they're going to Florida for a vacation, and I'm hurt that I wasn't invited.
Is there a difference between overreacting and being played?
I'm not concerned about being "played" by you and your husband, according to Left Out. I think you and your husband are "that nice couple who sublet part of their nice condo in Cabo each year."
Because these two women aren't in your friends-zone, but if you enjoy their company, you should continue renting to them; if you prefer to participate in some of their adventures you should inform them: I saw on Facebook that you two were in Florida. If there's no room for a third, I hope you'll let me know.
Dear Amy, here's what my friend did about the common problem of parents being "overrun" with their kids' toys. Once a month she would go into her children's room and create a pile of toys. She would instruct her kids that in three days whatever was left in the pile would be donated.
The kids could take the home they wanted. She was always surprised by how much she was still in the pile by the third day.
I'm a fan of this book!
Amy Dickinson may contact her at the address of the office in Freeville, NY 13068.