Dear Abby, what can I do to tell my dad that adopting his girlfriend will disrupt our planned guy's weekend?

Dear Abby, what can I do to tell my dad that adopting his girlfriend will disrupt our planned guy's  ...

DEAR ABBY: My father, who has been a widower for 17 years, has been dating a woman on and off for 12 years, a few years after my brother and I moved to college. Luckily, his father and I know him well now, but we are now three hours away from them. I try not to be rude, but I simply do not enjoy spending time with her.

Ive been planning a sports weekend with my father and brother. I have been looking forward to it, because with three minor kids, I have limited time for such kinds of activities. I got us all tickets and hotel rooms, but my brother now has to skip it owing to a family medical issue.

Dad has just argued that he might bring his girlfriend to take my brother's seat, because "she's irritated and not talking to me because I didn't take her to my brother's birthday." I can't imagine a more devastating weekend.

I told him before, "I anticipated this to be a "guys" weekend." But, like always, he was calm and I'm disgruntled that he will meet his girlfriend. How can I convince him that she will not use my brother's unused ticket because I do not want to spend the weekend with her? -- BAD SPORT IN OREGON

DEAR BAD SPORT: Is your dad unaware of how you feel about his lady friend? The answer to your question would be to tell your father that while you are pleased with his relationship with this lady, you do not enjoy her as much as she is, which is why he does not see more of you.

While you're doing it, tell him what you cannot tolerate about her. Then "remind" him that her presence would change the character of the "guys weekend," and if he wants to bring her, he will spend the weekend alone with her -- your treat -- because you, too, will change your intentions.

DEAR ABBY: My 43-year-old son will be married for the second time in seven months because of his fiancee's thirst. I am absolutely against going to the wedding. I am certain that I will be permitted to endure this day anyway, and I am doubtful that I would be able to confess my sadness. I am unsure if I would allow my son to have a happy day, and I would then wish them all of them the best possible. -- DEAR ABBY: IN WASH

DEAR HESITATING: I will assume that your son is aware of your worries about his fiancee's drinking. Do not boycott this wedding. If you do, you will create a wedge between you and your daughter-in-law that might last for decades. Plaster on a smile and attend so you may wish them all the best in person. Then cross your fingers that your wishes come true.

Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, has written Dear Abby and has since founded her mother, Pauline Phillips. Please contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

You may also like: