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Dear Abby, a City girl might rely on some help to deal with her nasty mother-in-law

Dear Abby, a City girl might rely on some help to deal with her nasty mother-in-law

DEAR ABBY: I have requested some advice about my mother-in-law. She has hated me since the first time she met me because Im not from the United States, but from the United States. I have given her gifts for birthdays and holidays and invited her on day trips with us, but she always refuses.

She makes up lies about me, claiming that I have STDs and that she can use all her son's money, etc. She spreads a rumor that I wouldn't allow her at our wedding. She lives 46 miles away and has never visited her son, due to medical issues.

PEEVED IN PENNSYLVANIA: We have to sit in the car; she acts like our child does not exist; but she has pictures of her other two grandchildren on Facebook and drives to see them almost weekly.

DEAR PEEVED: Please accept my condolence for your situation. While your husband refuses to recognize there is nothing wrong with his mother's behavior, it is off the charts. I hope you realize that most men stand up for their wives and children when they are mistreated.

Because you can't change your husband or his witch of a mother, and you did not mention of leaving the marriage, you will have to adapt to it. Start by planning an activity you and your child can enjoy while your husband is visiting his mom, rather than sitting in the car.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man for seven years. Ken is 27 years older than I am. (I pursue him.) He knows this, but he knows it. I have always been feeling very guilty.

THOSE: He is a good, honest man, and I enjoy our relationship. We get along great, have a lot in common, and we make a great team. But lately I have realized that I want to be on my own, and not in a relationship. I feel a strong desire to focus on me and only me, so I can become the person I envision myself being.

DEAR WANTING: You became involved with Ken while you were still very young. It appears you never gave yourself time to fully develop as an individual. You express gratitude to Ken for his support.

Many women would be willing to live their life in a relationship that has all the necessary qualities that yours holds with Ken. However, since you asked my advice, talk this through before making any final decision.

Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, has written Dear Abby, and has been founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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