Dear Abby, a City girl might use some time to deal with her nasty mother-in-law
DEAR ABBY: I need some advice regarding my mother-in-law. She has hated me since the first time she met me because Im not from the country, but from the city. I have given her gifts for birthdays and holidays and invited her on day trips with us, but she always refuses.
She makes up accusations about me and claims that I have STDs, spend all her son's money, etc. She even spreads a rumor that I would not allow her to attend our wedding. She lives 46 miles away and has never once visited her son. He cannot get a driver's license because he has medical issues
PEEVED IN PENNSYLVANIA: We have to sit in the car; we have photos of our other two grandchildren on Facebook; we have two grandchildren each week. I don't know what to do.
COMMENT FOR YOUR BUSINESS SAID: While your husband refuses to recognize that his mother is wrong with her, it is off the charts. I hope you realize that most men stand up for their wives and children when they are mistreated.
Because you cant change your husband or his witch of a mother, and you did not mention of leaving the marriage, you will have to adapt to it. Start by planning an activity you and your child can enjoy while your husband is visiting his mom, rather than sitting for hours in the car. Even better, arrange other transportation for your husband.
DEAR ABBY: Im a 24-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with a man for seven years. Ken is 27 years older than I am. (I pursue him.) I have always been somewhat confused about him, and he knows this. Lately, I have been feeling very guilty.
I love him, and he's a good guy. We get along great, have a lot in common, and make a great team. But recently I have realized that I want to be on my own, alone, and not in a relationship. I feel a strong desire to focus on me and only me, so I can grow into the person I envision myself being.
DEAR WANTING: While you were still very young, you never gave yourself time to fully develop as a individual. You affirm that you are still in a relationship rather than a marriage, which may be a blessing due to your ambivalence.
Many women would be glad to live their life in a relationship that is built on your qualities, according to Ken. But since you asked me advice, talk this through before making any final decision.
Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, has written Dear Abby and has been raised by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069