On Paramount+, Stream It Or Skip It: Secret Headquarters, Starring Owen Wilson as a Superhero Who Keeps a Secret From His Kid

On Paramount+, Stream It Or Skip It: Secret Headquarters, Starring Owen Wilson as a Superhero Who Ke ...

Secret Headquarters, a cheery family film now available on Paramount+, has evolved from horror (a couple of Paranormal Activitys) to non-franchise superpowered-human movies, starting with Netflix's 2020s release Project Power, which was far more violently R-rated. Is Secret HQ appropriate for kids of all ages?

STREAM IT OR SKIP IT IN THE SECRET HEADQUARTERS?

The Gist: Nighttime. A remote woodsy location. When zoomcrashboom is heard, flashes across the sky and hit Earth with a fiery whoomph nearby. Jack (Owen Wilson) hops in his army-green VW van with the make America green again bumper sticker, learns about the crash site. A flying object (Jesse Williams) emerges from the craft and envelopes Jack in some sort of bizarre bubble, and hey, I think this is an ORIGIN STORY

Jack is never ever seen again. He always misses his 13-year-old son Charlies (Walker Scobell) baseball games. He's always left blaming his mother Lily (Jessie Mueller), who claims she and Jack are divorcing. They both have a crush on Maya (Momona Tamada) and Lizzie (Abby James Witherspoon, niece of Reese). It's a TV news clip from a military-arms

Here's how to get the plotted together for a film. While Jack is working on a specific name-brand console and eating a specific name-brand frozen pizza, Jack gets called to do some more very vital work. (Hint: its right there in the movie title?) And is it that time again that a certain previously established villain wants to explore certain things that might most certainly solve some of his solvency concerns?

Secret Headquarters takes the Sky High screenplay and the Iron Man screenplay and stacks them together like a deck of cards.

Walker Scobell does an excellent job of playing the protagonist in the film, but the relatively bland material does not allow him to display the flashes of color and flair we saw from him in The Adam Project.

Penas's memento isnt a substitute for middle-school retaliations: You remind me of a fart.

None. Sex and skin

Secret Headquarters is a perfect family film for the streaming age, with a few medium-snappy one-liners (Didnt know it was Zero Dark Thirty in here! ), and throws in a few moderately violent close scrapes that aren't particularly disturbing because the conclusion to the conflict is so foregone, you saw it coming as soon as you saw it!

At a little over 90 minutes, this is junk-food entertainment, professionally executed on a modest budget, wholesome and non-offensive, colorful and brief. (It's a relief to see an action film that doesnt fire its movie-editing equivalent at us, keeping its visual clarity even when things get hectic.) It's also unchallenging, overly familiar and likely to incite any viewer over the age of 13 or so to tune out after about an hour, but at least the kids

Our Call: I know. False praise for Secret Headquarters. It's fine. Use once and destroy. Go ahead and STREAM IT and be 51 percent amused and 49 percent unamazed.

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Learn more about him at www.johnserbaatlarge.com.

On Paramount+, the StreamSecret Headquarters is now available.

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